As human beings there is something within us that searches for answers. And yet some questions take years, journeys and even lives to answer. So really would it not be better that some questions be left unanswered? Like the mechanics of the human body and mind, or the weather systems of the world, or those mysteries like vampires, witches and wizards or simple things like fire and water. Why is it necessary to break these things down to a science, to a equation or a member of reality? There is a beauty to the unknown, and being able to appreciate all of these things does not need to come from breaking them down to understanding. Society and humanity seem to overcomplicate in many ways by searching for answers that may be best left unanswered, however as technology grows and humanity and society evolve, more questions arise and the circle seems never-ending.

It felt so nice yesterday laundry while watching movies, and I know to many that this probably sounds silly, but folding ALL of the laundry and watching movies on a Saturday or Sunday was something I looked forward to every weekend. It meant break time from studying or homework and a quiet moment in the house, because usually everyone would be napping. Being able to contribute to as a family member is so important to me, I don't know where that comes from, but it's in me.

The workout went well today, so well in fact that when I got on the boulster, both times, so straight and balanced I only lasted for ten minutes each time, my vision got all funny. I've decided I have to be okay with that, because it seems to happen more often as we try more new and advanced steps. I think it also happens because it allows blood to flow in a new direction, through muscles that haven't been harnessed in that manor for quite sometime.

The standing frame has arrived! I am excited and nervous at the same time, it looks like it will take up a lot of space, which is concerning me more and more. It bothers me that I am taking over the upstairs area more, I don't know how to be okay with that. I realize it is my house, but it is even more so my parents, I never want to tresspass.

This Morning

I was looking forward to working out even before this morning, I knew it would help me out with some of my stress. I was in a awkward mood when Mom and I started, however after we started moving the feeling was forgotten.
We started with the block, and while Mom assisted my knees to move in, out, together and separated, my hip sockets became more and more defined, and the rounded edges of my foot, including my heel seemed to pulse with heat, like the ending tingles when a foot falls asleep. Then we went to belly raises and tightens, I am truly amazed how flat my stomach has become, I have almost returned to normal baby tummy when I sit relaxed. But my core has come together so well that when I think about pulling my belly button right through to my lower back there is no space between the two in my mind, so I have to think about pulling my belly button right through my back to the floor, then my core really engages. Then while Mom worked on relaxing my legs with turns and twists, and bending the knees I worked on arm excercises.

But one of the two best parts was sitting up on the boulster, Mom DID NOT have to hold me, NOT my core and NOT my shoulders. I sat so straight, so well for so long that the lovely dizzy white elephants and I saw eachother for quite some time. However I don't mind having the blurred vision for so long now, it means I am truly working my body, taking steps in the right direction. I probably sat on my knees for half an hour, with my shoulders relaxed, back and down, a nice straight back, intermittently I'd feel my old elegant and graceful self slip back in, it was so nice. We danced for awhile, my hands in Moms, going forwards and backwards and around. More and more my core would hold it's place without me even asking for it, and if my hips fell slightly forward, I could correct it easily using my core.

We did sit ups, and worked on having my ankles at 90 degrees for quite some time. Last we practiced rolling, it's funny now, how when I roll my knees bend, I never did before, but as Mom pointed out, I have been trying to lighten my hamstring, and bring it forward to balance my quad. And because I have been working on it, I with not thinking of it at all see rolling as an oppurtunity to engage my hamstring. However it does makes it a bit difficult to roll when your trying to make it over a bent knee.

The otherr best moment was when we were rolling to our final spot, and organizing the sling, I some how took my right leg, got it bent, and pushed down hard enough that I did a mini bridge on my right side. I instantly thought of how cool it would be to someday race across the floor of a gym again, doing the crab.

It was a good morning, and now I am HUNGRY!, so I am going to eat some amazing left over pizza.

Something Real

I haven't written something new about my body, or the things that I've been working on lately. It seems like I spend so much time thinking I'm busy, and yes I do have a lot of things to do, there are always things to do, that never-ending list, however recently my motivation to actually move, and get things done has diminished. Anyways I wanted to help myself out by listing things I have accomplished or things that have changed, so here goes:

1 - - I successfully changed lenses on my camera without asking anybody for help, or using my teeth(hooray!)
2 - - My core has developed two slightly visible abbs on top of my rib cage
3 - - My left arm shakes like crazy when I work on using the tricep in any position
4 - - The multiple layers of abdominal muscle are coming alive, and I am able to separately identify between them
5 - - My knee caps are sensitive, even when I touch them, it sends a funny sensation, just like when you hit your silly bone perfectly, its an odd feeling
6 - - I can feel when my feet are either too hot or too cold, same with my hips and knees
7 - - I finished the first 4 units of math with a 83 average maintained(thank goodness)
8 - - When Mom and I work out I have successfully scared myself 3 times by being so stable on my hands and knees that I got locked in that position and did 3 headers into the floor to try and get out of the position
9 - - I developed a new night workout or when I think of it, that helps me tie my body together by visualizing ribbons being wrapped around me body and tightening or pulling in different directions
10 - - I moved on to a more exciting volunteer position, which means being back at the Foothills, with some amazing people who I really miss being around.
11 - - Oh and I can sweat again ! :) I know it's a gross thought for the majority of the world, but it is acutally recommended that you sweat once a day to clear all the toxins out of your body (I read that on a lululemon bag, but hey I believe it!)

I know there is more, but that's what I can think of right now, it will all come in time though, and then the Mel mind, body and soul will be unstoppable, I can't wait!

I'm Feeling like Eeyore today

Wow, its only 10:00am and I am unable to focus on much of anything. Of course I have a long list of tasks to complete, but none of them are at all motivating or appealing.
Currently my eyes feel like some one has inserted tiny metal weights into my eyelid and bottom, everything is just mushy droopy and heavy. My room is really warm, which isn't helping me trying not to fall asleep.
Okay, and the sunrise was so beautiful, then the sky went grey with no sunshine to be seen. Well I should go do something meaningful, something productive, I don't think it will happen quickly though.