Well, my first reading week is quickly upcoming. I am so pleased to be able to say that, well, type it anyways. I am looking forward to a week of studying punctuation, grammar, and vocabulary. I'll probably end up mixing in some reading, movie watching, and day dreaming, but who doesn't during a week to themselves.

I was pleased with my midterm, no idea how I did, but I'm not too concerned. My dictionary and I are going to be close friends over the week, hopefully I will be able to pick up some new lingo.

It suprises me more and more how well my classmates write. Besides grammar, the majority of the students use words that I don't even know.

To all who are looking forward to a week of quiet studying: enjoy!

The Mel Mind

To say the least, the day has been interesting.

I have tried my best to be quiet, invisible, supportive and funny where necessary.

I've studied and learned many things I should have been taught years ago.

I've prepared for my midterm.

Looked into future endeavors.

Sat in warmth watching a great movie.

Watched cars and snow scrapers go whizzing by.

Commented on the school discussion.

Cut and wrapped individual slices of yummy banana bread.

Ate delicious slices of pruscuitto, spicey chicken, and swiss cheese.

Received a Valentine's Day card from a good pen pal.

Written emails to friends and family.

Sipped tea.

Lost someone I hardly knew, but really appreciated and still do.

Empathized, sympathized, empathized, sympathized.

Regretted.

And spent WAY too much time staring at a computer screen.

Lots of Love, The Mel Mind

Its been awhile, yes I realize.

The mind has been busy, and while I know writing helps it just seemed like too much work.

I have a few things weighing down on me right now.

More or less thoughts, ideas that are stuck to my brain, like the meatloaf on the ceiling in The Big Bang Theory.(I am and will be forever addicted)

Numero Un: Why am I avoiding replying to email? I know I would feel less guilt if I just did it.

Numero du: Why are new friends more accepting than old ones? I am responsible for not maintaining all friendships, for not explaining myself to them. Some part of me is sad, but at the same time knows that this is true.

Numero trois: I realize I have grown and morphed into a different person because of what happened to me, but I cannot stop searching in the mirror for that other beautiful person. I know the new and old are both a part of me, but I miss the beautiful, confident, supportive, and elegant me. I see her every once and awhile in the mirror, and I hold on to those moments so tight.

Trust me that there are way more thoughts than these, but for now these are all the energy I have to write about.

Lots of Love, The Mel Mind

This Time Around

To be honest I am feeling the pressure, but the relief as well, I am almost finished my full circle journey. I will finally be finished my high school courses in January, and then I can move onto my dream world of university life. I can't wait to hit cloud 9, it has been too long. To be back with friends, pupils, and teachers everyday, interacting, exchanging and entertaining pieces of eachothers lives seems like bliss. I do admitt, it will take some time for me to get back into the swing of things, and yet again things will be different. I won't be returning to the high school filled with fellow students ready for their second and last semester before they graduate to a form of higher education and adult life, I'll be going in fresh, to meet a group of amazing, new, intelligent and unique human beings, learn material that I want to learn, and when I put things that way, it seems like an even better oppurtunity then I thought it was going to be.

As for right now I just wanted to shout out to two of my very dear friends, they have no relation to eachother, other than the fact that they mean the world to me and they are both going through a bit of a rough patch. Both of you(I'm pretty sure you will know who you are), please know I love you, I hold you each in a special place in my heart, you cross my mind at least twice a day, and the support you have given me is unforgettable. I intend to dedicate many things to both of you, but mostly, right at this moment in time I want you to remember that you deserve the world, intern your happiness and your dreams, and remember that you are both great people, some of the best I'm sure I will ever have the pleasure of crossing paths with and making memories with in my life time.

All my Love and Great Warm Hugs,

The Mel Mind

As human beings there is something within us that searches for answers. And yet some questions take years, journeys and even lives to answer. So really would it not be better that some questions be left unanswered? Like the mechanics of the human body and mind, or the weather systems of the world, or those mysteries like vampires, witches and wizards or simple things like fire and water. Why is it necessary to break these things down to a science, to a equation or a member of reality? There is a beauty to the unknown, and being able to appreciate all of these things does not need to come from breaking them down to understanding. Society and humanity seem to overcomplicate in many ways by searching for answers that may be best left unanswered, however as technology grows and humanity and society evolve, more questions arise and the circle seems never-ending.

It felt so nice yesterday laundry while watching movies, and I know to many that this probably sounds silly, but folding ALL of the laundry and watching movies on a Saturday or Sunday was something I looked forward to every weekend. It meant break time from studying or homework and a quiet moment in the house, because usually everyone would be napping. Being able to contribute to as a family member is so important to me, I don't know where that comes from, but it's in me.

The workout went well today, so well in fact that when I got on the boulster, both times, so straight and balanced I only lasted for ten minutes each time, my vision got all funny. I've decided I have to be okay with that, because it seems to happen more often as we try more new and advanced steps. I think it also happens because it allows blood to flow in a new direction, through muscles that haven't been harnessed in that manor for quite sometime.

The standing frame has arrived! I am excited and nervous at the same time, it looks like it will take up a lot of space, which is concerning me more and more. It bothers me that I am taking over the upstairs area more, I don't know how to be okay with that. I realize it is my house, but it is even more so my parents, I never want to tresspass.

This Morning

I was looking forward to working out even before this morning, I knew it would help me out with some of my stress. I was in a awkward mood when Mom and I started, however after we started moving the feeling was forgotten.
We started with the block, and while Mom assisted my knees to move in, out, together and separated, my hip sockets became more and more defined, and the rounded edges of my foot, including my heel seemed to pulse with heat, like the ending tingles when a foot falls asleep. Then we went to belly raises and tightens, I am truly amazed how flat my stomach has become, I have almost returned to normal baby tummy when I sit relaxed. But my core has come together so well that when I think about pulling my belly button right through to my lower back there is no space between the two in my mind, so I have to think about pulling my belly button right through my back to the floor, then my core really engages. Then while Mom worked on relaxing my legs with turns and twists, and bending the knees I worked on arm excercises.

But one of the two best parts was sitting up on the boulster, Mom DID NOT have to hold me, NOT my core and NOT my shoulders. I sat so straight, so well for so long that the lovely dizzy white elephants and I saw eachother for quite some time. However I don't mind having the blurred vision for so long now, it means I am truly working my body, taking steps in the right direction. I probably sat on my knees for half an hour, with my shoulders relaxed, back and down, a nice straight back, intermittently I'd feel my old elegant and graceful self slip back in, it was so nice. We danced for awhile, my hands in Moms, going forwards and backwards and around. More and more my core would hold it's place without me even asking for it, and if my hips fell slightly forward, I could correct it easily using my core.

We did sit ups, and worked on having my ankles at 90 degrees for quite some time. Last we practiced rolling, it's funny now, how when I roll my knees bend, I never did before, but as Mom pointed out, I have been trying to lighten my hamstring, and bring it forward to balance my quad. And because I have been working on it, I with not thinking of it at all see rolling as an oppurtunity to engage my hamstring. However it does makes it a bit difficult to roll when your trying to make it over a bent knee.

The otherr best moment was when we were rolling to our final spot, and organizing the sling, I some how took my right leg, got it bent, and pushed down hard enough that I did a mini bridge on my right side. I instantly thought of how cool it would be to someday race across the floor of a gym again, doing the crab.

It was a good morning, and now I am HUNGRY!, so I am going to eat some amazing left over pizza.