Simply Is.

She's pissing me off again. It is my life, I will do things when I want to, in my own time. I don't think I'm ready for school, or for moving on in life. After all I have lost a lot, at a time in my life that was extremely special for me, I won't be able to go back and relive my graduating year. But she doesn't get that, she doesn't see it. At least with her I gave her time and still give her time to mourn over her losses, I just wish she treated me like I treat her, it would be a real treat(haha).

I think its ridiculous what she is asking of me, $20 every day I don't call, its MY choice when I decide to continue MY education. I've never pushed her or asked much of her as a daughter, I left her be, because I knew my sister needed her more. And I realize that now because my sister is gone that she feels lonely, but now she doesn't get to turn around and mother me like I'm five. I'm eighteen and I graduated high school well I was in the hospital using my own brain, during recovery. I'm not a stupid kid, I had a Dad who has taught me plenty, and when she had time she was a good Mom who taught me lots, but now I've had enough of being five again. It is degrading and with what I've just been through I don't deserve it. What is she going to do with the money anyway? I don't see what she is trying to prove. I've simply had enough with her having power over me. I'm not powerless, even if I can't walk or shake it on my own. I have a brain and a mouth with powerful words inside each, and I'm not afraid to use it anymore. Its been a long time coming, but now it is time to speek instead of shudder. To rise above instead of fall down. It simply is.